ABOUT - Humour

While Dragons do as best we can on the volleyball court, we try and have a little fun at the same time. Here are some of the stranger things that have surfaced through the years. Please take everything with a grain of salt.

Centre Blockers Union

The CBU is a made up of a group of unique volleyball players. Membership is open to specialist blockers who also possess the esoteric knowledge that can only be gained by playing in this important position.

Years of playing as blocker led the CBU founders to enlightenment in the ways of volleyball. They realised that they did a great deal of the hard work and the outside hitters got all the glory. That was when they coined the term Glory Boy. In particular it was recognised that when running combinations with the outside hitter, the centre block could draw one or two of the opposing blockers thus giving the outside hitter his moment of Glory.

Of course there are some who think that the CBU are delusional.

Lemmings

The Lemmings were a team of division 2 players who competed in 1992 in the Brisbane Metro League. Their claim to fame is that of never having won a match in the whole season. In fact they won only two sets. However, such an environment forges a special kind of player, a spiritual player, a dedicated player. They can be spotted by their yellow and purple jerseys.

Glory Boys

The Glory Boy, (a term created by the Central Blocker's Union), is a special kind of outside hitter. The kind of hitter who spikes hard. In fact so hard they don't feel the need to lower themselves to such mundane tasks as passing or blocking. Instead they stand back behind the attack line (some really good Glory Boys stand behind the baseline), just outside of court waiting for the set, and when it comes they spike it as hard as they can.

This kind of spiking generated the Volleyball rating system based on 'bricks'. Team members would yell out, for example, '6 bricks' holding up as many fingers because that was how high up the wall the spike hit on the full. Dragons created a Golden Brick Award for spikers who excel at this.

Naturally the Glory Boys find their behaviour completely normal.

It is not uncommon to see Glory Boys combing their hair or signing autographs as they wait for a set.

The top 20 most common excuses Glory Boys use when they miss a spike:

  • The set wasn't high enough.
  • The light was in my eyes.
  • I was buffing my finger nails.
  • My hair was out of place.
  • I was looking at my reflection in the window.
  • There was a double block.
  • The set was too close.
  • It was the setter's fault.
  • It was the blocker's fault.
  • It was the referee's fault.
  • It wasn't my fault.
  • The set was too far off.
  • My Ruby Slippers lost their grip.
  • Oh, that set was for me?
  • It wouldn't have been a kill; I couldn't ruin my image.
  • I didn't hear a call from back court.
  • I tripped over my Testosterone Count.
  • I was giving an autograph to a fan.
  • I was just getting my hair streaked, what do you think?
  • It was touched! You saw it, didn't you?

Special Plays

Over the years Dragons have created/adopted a number of special plays to be used in exceptional circumstances, (typically when we are totally outclassed).

6 Man Block: This one is fairly obvious. We give the opposition a free ball then put all six players up to block.

6 Man Pancake: Much like the six man block, only there is a possibility of a legal return as long as someone can get back on their feet quickly enough.

Evacuate Ball: Made famous in a hall where an extra large exit was right beside the court. After serving the ball everyone ran out of the exit. The opposition spiker was so surprised he hit into the net. Considering it's long term effectiveness, we haven't run this play since.

GO YOURSELF! The David Kelly legendary combination: where Dave sets the ball from between two hitters then runs around them to spike his own set. Incredibly he has achieved this feat twice without the referee realizing what has happened.

Awards

These are some of the awards given in jest at the end of each year:

Golden Brick Award: For consistently hitting the back wall on the full. Sadly the actual golden brick has gone missing.

Crucifixion Award: For players whose feet are nailed to the floor in back court.

Leyland Brothers Award: For exceptionally poor navigational skills.

Rudolf Nureyev Award: For having the most dance-like spike approach.

Stevie Wonder Award: For exceptionally poor perception as a referee.

Mr Sheen Award: For excessive polishing of the floor (diving).

Dean Brothers Award: For damaging oneself and/or the court.

Brain Fade Award: For consistently setting to where the spiker isn't.

Fisherman Award: For players who find themselves consistently caught up in the net.

Megaphone Award: For most vocal (loudest) supporter in the stands.

Invisible Man Award: For the club member who is most conspicuous by their absence throughout the year. Historically this has tended to be one of the executive committee, (often the treasurer).